Thursday, November 18, 2010

Hearing Well Enough to Decipher 'Meaningful' Phone Calls

I've come to realize there are close friends/family who only call when they want something. *Aghast!*

They mix it up with just a bit of news, and then it comes ... the real reason for the call ... "Gina? Can you _____________ for me?"  "Gina? I don't know how to _________________. Will you do it?"

And, I always say, "Yes".

I'm a nice person; an over-flowy, full of love, sickening type --> so, helping people is as natural as, well, eating!, in my book; but, I don't want it to be the only reason one calls ... especially if you're someone important in my life. Don't take advantage of the overly-nice me.

Therefore, I'm analyzing this here and printed form. The reason I must do this is because I usually talk to myself--out loud--in order to get through particular processes; but, those who catch or overhear me talk to myself most likely resolve that I'm crazy --> and we can't be having that. Also, if I'm left to myself with such thoughts to ponder, it may take longer than necessary, since the process may snowball from one episode to others from the past until I become one big blob of ridiculousness.

Since I've never been to a therapist or counselor (not that I need it, of course), I assume we would discuss the matter, and then somehow it would fall in my lap of how I'm going to change, since the other person certainly isn't going to....hmmmm.

Then, I'd imagine a really liberal, smartalec therapist who would derive that I'm the entire problem since I allowed the other person to use me in such a way; and, therefore, I'm the one at fault, not the selfish perpetrator person who called.

Do I continue to give in? Do I say, "No"? Do I address the problem and make it known to the person? --> No, I've already answered that question...don't want to make them think that I've got this hangup; so, I'm gonna deal with it and move on.

Self-Help Analytical Summation: 
A.  Sometimes, still give in. 
B.  I'll try really hard to say, "No" when I feel I should - no matter who the person is to me.
C.  Pray about this - give everything to the Lord in prayer - ask the Holy Spirit to lead and guide.

Session is over