Tuesday, July 7, 2009

Me Vs. Exercising with a CI

I’ve never been Miss Skinny Winnie; but, I was much thinner and fit when I got my CI than I am now. Once implanted, I realized I was very protective of the money spent toward the surgery, and outer CI components…and I stopped exercising. My excuses…I mean reasons were: 1. I didn’t want too much sweat going into my CI processor, and ruining it. 2. I didn’t want to miss out on hearing during exercise by not wearing it. 3. I was working hard on learning to hear, and establishing a new career and life for myself; so, working hard on my body was just one too many “working hards”… The pounds piled on…and, after 3 years (I know it took a long time; but, I’m bearing my innermost faulty being here, folks) I’m finally ready to exercise again. I decided to exercise DEAF…without the implant…waaaaaaaaaaaa! I still am concerned that I’ll wear it out too soon, and will have to pay for a new one earlier than I should. I hate!!!!! being deaf while exercising. Such a part of me is missing, and it amazes me how much it affects me; but, I had to force myself to make a decision and take a step and Nike—just do it! The other day, we had family visiting us here in California for the first time. We all went to the ocean. I used to love going to the beach, getting in the water, riding the waves in, jumping into them, and over them, etc.; but, I hadn’t done this since implanted three years ago. I stood there and loved the sounds around me…the voices, the glee, the laughter, the waves, the airplanes, the click of the cameras nearby…just everything! And yet, I missed being in the salty water, with the strength of the waves testing any fears while also gentle and soft to the touch. The ocean is everything…strong, yet soft; cold, but, you get used to it; scary, yet exciting. So, I turned to my husband, and started handing him my cover up, my eye glasses, and then my CI hearing aid (we were standing at the shoreline). He was taken by surprise; but, happy to see me back to doing what he knows I love to do. That day caused a turning point within me…thoughts to self: "just be deaf, and do the things you used to do. When you’re finished, you’ll love how you'll feel, and simply put your hearing devices back on to hear again. You'll be just fine...it's OK to not hear. It's OK to miss sounds. Learn to adjust. There may be pros and cons; there may be give and take; but, that’s life. Take it; seize it; and, live it to the full."