The Ventriloquist

One time, my husband and I were vacationing in Lake Tahoe, and we bought tickets to see Crystal Gayle. The auditorium was casino style, and we had a table just in front of the stage. Well, lo and behold, out came a ventriloquist, with his dummy, to open the show. The ventriloquist communicated with his dummy, which means there were no lips to read. I had no idea what was being said, nor going on. I noticed the audience laughing from time-to-time, and I just sat there, watched, and smiled.

Until… The ventriloquist, along with his dummy, turned and looked directly at me…waiting for a response. 

Oh gosh, what?? Why me???

So, I pointed to my ears, in front of the entire auditorium, and mouthed, “I can’t hear”.

Well, the ventriloquist thought I meant that I didn’t hear him; so, he repeated, and he and the dummy turned to look at me again…waiting for my reply.

Oh Lord have mercy, this can't be happening! I was completely red in the face, turned to my husband and asked him to help me explain; but, I found him sitting there, eyes wide open, in complete shock. He could not move, could not speak, could not do a single thing. So, out loud, I apologetically explained, “I’m sorry. I’m deaf, and cannot hear you. Plus, there are no lips for me to read.”

The ventriloquist was completely stunned. Like my husband, he was entirely speechless. It threw him off so badly, that he simply stood up with his dummy, and walked off the stage. Needless to say, I helped bring Crystal out sooner than planned, ha! True story.